10 Traits of Exceptional Leadership
Before we begin…
Below is a leadership guide written with teenagers in mind even though it’s for anyone who wants to understand the power of resilience. It’s a short story about three friends attending a unique boarding school where they come to learn the art of leadership. Their enemies are dragons of a different kind--- dragons called depression, self-doubt, and anxiety. They go on a life- changing mission searching for The Silver Shield-- a mythical artifact said to hold the power to vanquish their inner dragons.
The idea of this guide was to support, inspire, and provide wisdom to those facing dragons of their own. It is deeply rooted in a desire to help teens who often struggle with the weight of depression.
Although fiction, it’s a reflection of the real challenges and triumphs of young minds, and a tribute to their courage and determination.
Hope you find it helpful!
A Teen’s Guide to Leadership
A reflection of the real challenges and triumphs of young minds and a tribute to their courage and determination.
Let’s Talk Leadership!
This week we’ll look at some common leadership traits, starting with resilience. If you want to learn more, I’ll include a list and brief explanation of the Leadership Trait Theory on the next blog!
There are managers and not leaders. There’s a difference. A manager makes sure things get done, it’s transactional. We work, we get paid. A leader on the other hand, inspires, motivates, and influences. There is something about that type of leader that causes us to want to do more. We want to be like them. They have certain traits, characteristics, or ways of being.
Why are traits important?
Traits impact the way we perform and help us to know how to guide others through challenges in order to meet goals. Here’s how they help in day to day operations.
Resilience: Helps to overcome challenges and maintain focus on long-term goals.
Decisiveness: Allows us to be quick and effective when making decisions. It’s crucial in difficult situations that need to be addressed immediately.
Inspiration: When we are inspiring, we are able to motivate and energize others, driving them to achieve their best.
Accountability: Encourages responsibility and reliability which can often lead to higher performance and consistency
Confidence: Helps instill trust in others, encouraging them to take risks and be innovative and creative.
Adaptability: Allows us to deal with change successfully and stay resilient in tough situations
Communication: Being able to communicate well, allows for clear understanding. It improves teamwork and reduces confusion.
Vision: With vision we can provide direction and purpose to others. We can inspire them and guide them to work towards the common goals.
Empathy: Empathy leads to higher morale and collaboration. By truly understanding and being compassionate, we can foster strong relationships and create a supportive environment.
Integrity: With integrity, we build trust and credibility so that others are willing to follow and support us. It is essential for good leadership.
Let me tell you…
I wasn’t always an educator, in fact, I attended college as a non-traditional student, mother of two, at the age of 34. Growing up, we were migrants, so we traveled to work. But since I was young, I had different jobs. A stocker, operator, receptionist, and much later—-a banker.
During those years, my learning was just from experience, informal. I learned the hard way about things that back then I didn’t understand. It wasn’t until I got the formal education in college that a lot of my learning experience made sense.
So I have many stories to share.
Unforgettable lessons have been from negative work experiences. Sadly, it’s more common than you think. Back in the 80’s expectations were different and we experienced things that would be considered unethical and unacceptable today.
I was 20 years old, looking for a job, and the only one I found was selling phones! Not iphones----wall phones!
My first instinct was not to take it, after all, the interview had been quite uncomfortable. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he had asked. “I would hate for him to come over and stir trouble.” His deep, rough voice, gave me the creepies. Yes, I had a strong negative intuition, but my need to work was even stronger. And so I started.
“When you come in the morning, turn on the coffee maker, and ask me if I want coffee,” he explained. “I will say “yes” and you will bring me coffee with two spoons of sugar.” I paid close attention.
He continued, “after we finish eating (“we” meaning him and his girlfriend, who ate lunch there) make sure you wash the dishes, dust and sweep. Oh- and before you leave, clean the toilet and turn off the lights.
That was my job description, in addition to selling phones.
I’ve always been hard working so I was not concerned about those duties. It was a small office with one desk, a rotary phone, and phone book. How hard could it be?
During that week a customer came by and my boss stepped outside to talk to him. Soon they were both arguing and screaming at each other while I watched frantic through the window. My boss turned to me and yelled, “call the police!”
Get this—-there was no 911 back then—- and by the time I looked up the police number in the yellow pages….well, you can imagine. My heart was racing. I was a nervous wreck! It took a quick glance for me to see him spit on the customer! And the customer pushing back, spitting on him too!
By this time he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “I told you to call the police! Are you stupid?” Tearful and trembling, I kept flipping pages, trying to find the number. Funny, how it happened so long ago, and I can still remember the fear.
Needless to say, I was there only a week. It was a horrible week of constant intimidation. Everything he said and did was bullying. But by Friday afternoon, I got the courage to walk into his office and ask for my pay. I wasn’t coming back, and endured quite a bit for a week’s pay.
That was the last of several humiliating situations that week. He got up, threw his hands up in the air, shouting, “do you know what they will think of me at the employment office?” (Yes, employment offices still existed and 7 female employees had gone before me). They won’t send anyone else! Furious, he got his checkbook, wrote a check, and threw it at my face—-it fell on the floor!
The check I tolerated much for…was on the floor! I think he did it to prove a point. A point I still can’t figure out. Power maybe? I don’t know. Regardless, without saying a thing, I calmly picked it up, turned around, and walked out---never looked back.
True story.
There’s much I can say about everything I saw that week, too embarrassing to even write about. But after that experience, I was determined to never again work for someone like him.
How can these traits be developed?
Practice self-awareness, understand how others perceive you, how they feel around you. Ask them for feedback, but consider it. Most important—-be willing to learn from others.
Let’s look at some ways to develop these traits.
Resilience
Maintain a positive outlook and focus on solutions.
Build a support network of mentors.
Develop coping strategies to use during times of stress or setbacks.
2. Decisiveness
Gather the information you need quickly.
Weigh the pros and cons —- trust your instincts.
Learn from previous experience to refine your decision-making skills.
3. Inspiration
Lead by example and be passionate about your work.
Share your vision and how it benefits everyone.
Recognize and celebrate the achievements of others, to motivate them.
4. Accountability
Take responsibility for your actions and decisions
Set clear expectations for yourself and others
Create a culture of accountability by addressing issues promptly.
5. Confidence
Build self-awareness. Know yourself, understand your strengths and weaknesses.
Set and achieve small goals to boost self-efficacy (belief in yourself).
Seek mentorship and guidance to gain new perspectives and ideas.
6. Adaptability
Embrace change and view it as an opportunity to grow.
Stay flexible and open to new ideas and ways of doing things.
Develop problem-solving skills to handle unexpected problems.
7. Communication
Enhance verbal and written skills by practicing or taking classes.
Seek feedback on your way of communicating and adjust accordingly.
Create an open dialogue environment where others feel comfortable sharing.
8. Vision
Set clear, long-term goals and communicate them successfully.
Stay informed about industry trends and innovations.
Encourage creativity and strategic thinking in your team.
9. Empathy
Listen actively to others without judgement.
Show genuine interest in the viewpoints of others.
Develop emotional intelligence through reflection and mindfulness.
10. Integrity
Practice honesty in all interactions
Align your actions with your values and be transparent.
Admit mistakes and learn from them.
Ultimately the key to effective leadership is consistent effort, reflection, and a willingness to grow.
Have a good weekend!
Dr. Aguilar
