10 Ways to Diffuse Conflict
Before we begin…
I’m working on business and leadership courses that will soon be available for purchase. They will have downloadable files and videos. The first one is called Learning to Manage Conflict. This discussion is a good introduction to the course and gives you a very good idea of the conflict and its context.
Let’s Talk Leadership!
Conflict is inevitable and part of our daily lives. It happens when we have different goals, values, or needs and can range from minor disagreements to intense arguments or more.
Conflict isn’t necessarily negative. In the workplace, it can be used to encourage growth when managed well. It can also help drive innovation or expose hidden issues. Yet, if not addressed properly, conflict can lead to decreased morale, reduced productivity, or even worse— long-term resentment.
To manage conflict effectively, you need to first identify the underlying causes. Find out what the real problem is —-not the symptom of the problem. It’s easy to see the symptoms but not be able to identify the actual problem.
If you are in a leadership role, your job is to resolve conflict. Create an environment where there can be different viewpoints without destructive outcomes. Be open to communication. Find solutions beneficial to all parties. Negotiate, meditate, and actively listen to resolve conflicts constructively.
Let me tell you…
The most challenging conflicts I’ve seen during my work experience have been those amongst co-workers. When you spend 8 hours a day, five times a week, side by side with co-workers, there’s bound to be some type of conflict. I spent thirteen years in the banking industry. As a teller, I worked in a motor bank. Believe me, motor banks are small, so we do work literally side by side.
Anyway, I learned early on (the hard way) about friction, stress, personalities, and conflict. I tell you, the challenge is not the job, because once you learn to do the tasks, they become routine. No—-the real challenge is dealing with people. It’s a maker or breaker. If you can manage people—- you will do well wherever you go.
I give my sons advice when discussing work.
“Everyone has a good side.” I tell them. “It’s your job to find it.”
It’s true, when you sincerely focus on finding the goodness in others, it’s easier to be empathetic and understanding in difficult times. I’ve often been asked in interviews, “What do you do if your co-worker comes in upset?” I know we’ve all been there, so I’m honest when I say, “everyone is entitled to have a bad day.”
So next time, your co-worker walks in moody—-give them the benefit of the doubt, because you don’t know what they’re going through. Cut them some slack, be patient, give them their space. You’ll notice they soon feel better. And they may not say it, but they will appreciate your courtesy.
And appreciation goes a long way!
Diffusing conflict takes empathy, communication skills, and a calm approach. These are 10 strategies to help you resolve conflict successfully.
Stay Calm and Composed
Maintain your composure, even if emotions are running high. Your calm demeanor can help de-escalate the situation and set a tone for constructive conversations.
Listen Actively
Give everyone involved a chance to express their views without interrupting. Genuinely listen and show it, by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and paraphrasing what they’ve said to ensure understanding.
Acknowledge Emotions
Recognize and validate the feelings of those involved. Statements like “I can see this is frustrating for you” can help people feel heard and reduce emotional intensity.
Identify the Root Cause
Focus on the underlying issues rather than the symptoms. Ask open-ended questions to uncover what’s really driving the conflict. Understand the root cause to find a reasonable solution.
Separate the Person From the Problem
Address the issue, not the individual. Avoid personal attacks or pointing fingers. Keep your emphasis on resolving the problem, not winning the argument.
Encourage Open Communication
Create a safe space where everyone can express their concerns and viewpoints without fear of judgment or retaliation. Encourage honesty and transparency.
Seek Common Ground
Look for areas of agreement or shared interests. This is a good start to a mutually acceptable resolution.
Propose Solutions
Brainstorm possible solutions. Encourage everyone to contribute their ideas, and be open to compromise. Focus on finding satisfactory solutions for all parties.
Set Clear Expectations
Once you find a solution, clearly outline the steps to move forward. Set timelines and follow up to make sure the conflict is truly resolved.
Know When to Involve a Third Party
If the conflict is too intense or complex, consider involving a neutral party to help facilitate the discussion and find a solution. Someone that can act as a mediator will be a good choice.
Using these strategies can help you turn a potentially destructive conflict into an opportunity for growth, understanding, and improved relationships.
Have a good weekend!
—-Dr. Aguilar
