Building Bridges Despite Personal Differences
Before we begin:
This is the 20th volume of leadership topics since we started back in June! It’s been a learning experience and I’m grateful for your support. I look forward to finishing up the leadership course I’ve mentioned in past articles but it will take a couple of weeks. So new articles will be on hold —but previous articles will be recycled with updates.
Let’s Talk Leadership!
As a leader, it’s part of your job to build bridges between co-workers, team members, departments or simply with those you personally find challenging. Here’s why it matters and how it fits into your leadership responsibilities.
Creating a Collaborative Environment
When people feel disconnected, productivity suffers. It’s up to you to foster a space where everyone feels valued, regardless of the differences. It means creating pathways for collaboration without forcing friendships.
Role Modeling Healthy Relationships
Your behavior sets the tone. If you let personal biases show and avoid certain people, others may follow. By building bridges, you model conflict resolution and emotional intelligence (EQ).
Aligning Personal and Organizational Goals
Differences can create silos that slow progress. By bridging gaps you can make sure everyone works toward the shared goals, even if personalities clash.
Mitigating Conflict
Small tensions can escalate if left unchecked. By proactively building bridges you can help minimize misunderstandings and help address conflicts early, maintaining the harmony.
Remember, it’s less about personal comfort and more about creating conditions where others can thrive. It’s about removing barriers for collaboration.
Do You Know…
It’s not always easy to be empathetic because of:
Emotional Fatigue: Empathy requires emotional energy, which can feel draining. You will experience emotional burnout especially when dealing with many responsibilities.
Personal Biases: Everyone carries unconscious biases that make it harder to connect with challenging people. Overcoming these biases takes intentional effort and self-awareness.
Conflict and Friction: It takes maturity to pause and try to understand the other side. Even if it’s easier to become defensive when emotions run high during conflict.
Cognitive Overload: Pausing to connect emotionally can seem like a distraction, especially in fast- paced environments focused on deadlines and performance.
Fear of Being Vulnerable: Don’t worry about being perceived weak if you are empathetic, especially if you work in a competitive environment.
Empathy can be difficult but it’s worth the effort. It allows you to bridge differences, manage conflict, and create more positivity, even if it’s not always comfortable.
Building Bridges Despite Personal Differences
How can I be empathetic with someone I don’t like?
Great question.
Empathy can be tough when you don’t naturally connect with someone. But leadership isn’t about liking everyone—it’s about treating people with fairness and care, even when emotions get in the way. Here are some tips to help you.
Separate Person from Behavior
Disliking someone often comes from behaviors, not the person. Focus on actions, not assumptions about their character. Instead of immediately judging, ask yourself: “What’s driving this behavior?”
Shift Judgement to Curiosity
Approach difficult people with curiosity. What motivates them? What challenges are they facing? Often, understanding what they’re going through fosters empathy.
Find Common Ground
There is at least one thing you can respect or appreciate about someone. Look for it. Find the common interests, shared goals, or professional values.
Use Emotional Regulation Techniques
Check your biases. Practice mindfulness or deep breathing before interactions. The goal is to prevent dislike from dictating your response.
Ask, Don’t Assume
Instead of filling gaps with negative assumptions, ask clarifying questions. This shows respect and avoids misunderstandings.
Practice Compassionate Detachment
You don’t have to be emotionally close to empathize. Compassionate detachment let’s you care about their experience without absorbing their energy.
Lead with Fairness
Even if there’s no personal connection, fairness builds trust. People feeling they are treated equitably, fosters goodwill —even with those you struggle to like.
These approaches help maintain professional relationships while building a leadership style rooted in respect and empathy—regardless of personal feelings.
Have a good weekend!
—-Dr. Aguilar
