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A teacher wrote about how discouraged he was by an incident that happened in his classroom. He caught some high school students cheating and brought it to their attention. “Soon you will be in the workplace,” he advised. “And you will need a good work ethic.” He explained the importance of integrity, and a moral compass, and the impact of these at work.
A couple of days later, he got a call from administration who let him know that parents complained about him mistreating their son. The parents claimed, the teacher had called their son names that were very inappropriate! “It was totally untrue, even surreal,” the teacher recalls.
In disbelief, he requested the parents be called so he could speak to them. “It was hard to even get a word in,” he wrote. The father was disrespectful from the beginning —talking loudly and too fast to interrupt. “I raised my son right, and you have no business accusing my son of cheating,” the father shouted. “And you don’t worry about where my son will be working, it’s not your job to worry about his future!”
“It was discouraging,” the teacher wrote. How do I do my job without teaching values? (It’s worth noting, he teaches Career Readiness).
Should I just stop teaching integrity?
My response is,“No, you shouldn’t give up teaching integrity. The lessons you’re teaching are foundational for their growth, even if it’s frustrating when they don’t respond and the results aren’t immediately visible.
But in this situation, the parents don’t care that I teach integrity.
It can be challenging to reinforce values in teens, especially when parents don’t prioritize integrity—but even with that —it’s not impossible. As an educator, you can still make a difference by :
Being a Consistent Role Model
Creating a Safe, Values-based Environment
Teaching Through Real-Life Scenarios
Offer Individualized Guidance
Using Peer Influence
Providing External Role Models
Focusing on Building Self-Respect
It can be frustrating without parental support, but your influence matters more than you realize. Teens often seek guidance from adults outside their families when they’re looking for direction. Even if it seems like the lessons aren’t clicking now, you’re helping them build a foundation they can come back to.
Stay committed to teaching integrity, even when it feels thankless. It’s one of the most impactful things you can do. Sometimes the reward is delayed, but the ripple effects can be profound.
A reader/supervisor asked:
I work in small company and have two employees. Every time I am around them I notice they go quiet and feel uncomfortable. I want them to feel good in the office. How can I change this?
new supervisor
New supervisor, a certain level of uncomfortableness is expected because of your title. Sometimes it happens out of respect. You want them to feel good at work, but you also don’t want them to be sooo comfortable, that they disrespect the workplace expectations, each other, or you.
My suggestion is that you be yourself, be polite, provide guidance where needed, be patient with things they don’t understand. Respect their personalities. Find out what they know about the job and what they need to know, so you can help them grow. Include them in the work process and explain the “why” things are done a certain way. In time they will feel comfortable around you.
If possible, remember things that are important to them, big or small and bring them up when the time is right. For example, if one of them plays baseball and you know it, ask about their game, how did it go? If you know their child was sick, follow up —ask them how they are doing?
When being sincere, a simple question about what is important to them —goes a long way.
